I like to think I see the best in people most of the time. When we clash on a project or have differing opinions, I’m diligent in reframing the situation as an opportunity.
– An opportunity to learn from each other.
– An opportunity to grow together.
– And an opportunity to come to a better conclusion than we maybe would have had on our own.
But there’s one type of person that even I can’t stand to work with, out of frustration both for myself and their career.
That is the person who cannot accept feedback.
You know who I’m talking about…
The person who immediately puts up walls, gets defensive, lashes out, or shuts down at the first indication that they may not have the best idea in the room or that they may not get their way.
I understand that we’re all human.
This type of response can spark within all of us from time to time. Especially when we’re passionate about a project or outcome.
I also recognize that some leaders unintentionally forge these walls themselves by consistently putting their team down when someone dares to voice a thought.
So while I recognize this is a human response, it’s one I firmly believe is a sign of knee-jerk emotional immaturity.
Because “Defensive Dans” create a bad environment for everyone. Making a discussion that could be productive into a hostile one, or turning an entire meeting into a fight, just because they haven’t processed their feelings.
Instead of learning to handle rejection or disappointment, they tend to shut down or lash out in an attempt to hurt before they can get hurt.
I think it’s one of those things that can really set your career back.
Because none of us are perfect, feedback is a part of life and business, and we all have room to improve. Always.
And in my experience, the brief sting of rejection over a first draft almost always causes a much better final result — and that benefits everyone.