They’re stepping out of places that drain them.
I’ll never forget interviewing for an executive role and having the CEO, a man, look at me and say several times, “You know this is a big job. It’s going to be really difficult. Are you sure you’re ready for it?”
I just sat there thinking, I’ve been an executive for five years… What exactly do you think I’ve been doing? I had led teams, delivered results, and handled responsibilities he didn’t even know about. But at that moment, none of it seemed to matter. He wasn’t seeing my experience or what I had actually done. He didn’t even ask. He was seeing his assumptions about a young woman. My ambition wasn’t the issue. His perception was.
For years, we’ve heard the same story repeated everywhere.
Women are pulling back.
Women are losing ambition.
Women no longer want big roles.
None of this is true.
A new Chief x Harris Poll study finally put real numbers behind what many of us have known from experience. Women are not stepping back. They are stepping around environments that make ambition too expensive to maintain.
- 86% of senior women say they are more ambitious now than they were 5 years ago.
- 92% say they feel energized by the growth still ahead.
- 61% believe they are at their peak power now or will reach it in the next 5 years.
This is not a group losing drive.
This is a group navigating systems that make ambition harder to express.
Women are not becoming less ambitious.
They are becoming less willing to carry the weight of ambition alone.
Women today are choosing roles with autonomy.
They are choosing leaders who respect them.
They are choosing work that aligns with their values and strengthens their lives rather than draining them.
It is not softness.
It is a strategy.
And you can see it clearly in the data.
83% of senior women have made major career transitions, and 71% did so by choice, not to escape, but to pursue the careers they actually want.
And ambition grows even stronger in the right environments.
94% say being around other ambitious women increases their own drive.
Two-thirds solve problems faster when they collaborate with women leaders.
None of these signals fades ambition.
It signals ambition evolving into something more honest and sustainable.
If you want proof of what women are up against, you only need to look at ageism.
The way ageism showed up for me was subtle, the kind of thing you almost miss if you’re not paying attention. I was in a meeting with my boss, talking about a new project, and he said, almost offhand, “We should get younger people on this. They’re more innovative and will come up with better solutions.”
I remember blinking, trying to decide if I had actually heard him correctly. I had spent years coming up with and rolling out new ideas and programs, but somehow, in that moment, my age mattered more than my track record. It was a reminder that capability doesn’t matter if someone has already decided you are on the wrong side of young.
The tech industry treats age like a countdown clock.
The median age in tech is 31, compared to 42 in the broader workforce.
Anyone over 35 is often labelled “old,” “slow,” “irrelevant,” or “behind.”
Capability doesn’t matter. Context doesn’t matter. Experience doesn’t matter.
Ageism hits women even earlier.
Too young to be taken seriously.
Too old to be seen as relevant.
Somehow, both at the same time.
The window of being the “right age” is narrow, fragile, and often impossible to fit into, no matter how competent you are.
This is not an ambition problem.
This is a system problem.
Ambition is not fading.
It is maturing.
It is becoming more intentional, more aligned, and more sustainable.
Women are no longer trying to squeeze themselves into a leadership model that was never built for them.
They are building one that reflects them, supports them, and gives them room to grow.
One of the best career experiences I have had was co-leading our customer advisory board with the head of product management, a sharp and driven woman. We built this board from the ground up, bringing in leaders from big enterprises and designing meetings focused on real collaboration.
What made it so energizing wasn’t just the executives in the room. It was working alongside her. We shared the work, pushed each other, and created something that really mattered. Being in that kind of partnership reminded me of how powerful it is to work with someone who lifts your ambition rather than drains it.
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If you’ve ever felt like you were working in a system that wasn’t built for you, you’re not alone.
Not Made for You is for anyone who has had to work harder to be heard, seen, or taken seriously.
For the ones underestimated, overlooked, or made to feel like they don’t belong, but kept showing up anyway.
It’s a guide for navigating bias, setting boundaries, protecting your energy, and defining success on your own terms.
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